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Literature Text
Have you?
Wolves with umber eyes prowl these woods,
Claws slashing bark, noses wet with berry juice.
The woodsman lumbers towards the cottage
Not knowing that the red cloak is already shredded.
Photocopies of faces are tacked to telephone poles
Asking "Have you seen...."?
Wolves with umber eyes prowl these woods,
Claws slashing bark, noses wet with berry juice.
The woodsman lumbers towards the cottage
Not knowing that the red cloak is already shredded.
Photocopies of faces are tacked to telephone poles
Asking "Have you seen...."?
A story of Red Riding Hood, unhappy endings and missing children
Comments6
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Overall
Vision Originality
Technique Impacttypo correction: Eliminate the first 'the' in line 4 or replace it with 'that'.
The poem would have more impact by leaving a sudden stop to leave the reader imagining the continuance of the story if you eliminate the last two lines. The inclusion of the title as part of the poem, as a sort of first line strengthens that even more.
Other than those suggested changes? None I can think of at the moment. Well done. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)"/>What does the message mean about my critique being too short?! hmf. It is as long as it needs to be. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Big Grin)"/> No point in rambling on and on and on and on and on ...